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This is the hit single. This is the one all of the teenagers will be dancing to at their box socials. You shouldn't listen to it; you should instead use SCIENCE to convert it into a sugary syrup composed of chemicals too synthetic to even mention, and which will probably be terrible for you, and then inject the entire mixture directly into your cerebral cortex so that this song plays continuously in your head for the next six months. It's going to one way or the other, so you may as well make it easier on yourself.


Well I've never been an uncle
And I've never been to Kansas
And I've never had a muskrat
Eat my face

I've never been to Portsmouth
And I've never been to Dover
And I've never met a lady
Who could breathe in outer space

But sometimes I sit and ponder
All the things I think about
And I often get excited
When I finally work it out

Each day is an adventure
Cause its never the same time again

I realize I'll never be so tall
That I could reach up and grab a plane
But even though that's true you know I don't let it get me down
Cause if I was that tall I couldn't ever go inside again

Well I've never danced the Charleston
And I've never met Ben Kingsley
And I've never seen Al Jolson
Do blackface

I've never been attacked by pigs
Or forced to dance a bonny jig
While being held at gunpoint
By creatures from outer space

But I'm told I have a lot of pep
By folks who ought to know
And I'm often complimented
On my graceful do-se-do

I'll always sally forth because
It's never the same time again

I know that I'm probably a fool
For wishing that I had a million cars
After all, where would I park them all?
The garage I have is way too small I'd have to move to Mars

Sometimes I wonder if it's wrong
To misdirect the sailors out at sea
I know I'm not a navigator
But they probably should have checked on that before listening to me

Well I've never been a mailman
And I've seen a dentist
And I've never worn a sweater
of Argyle

I've never seen a porcupine
Or sipped on dandelion wine
Or fed my landlord
To a crocodile

But I always keep some brine shrimp
In the pocket of my shirt
And I always share my recipes
For gelatin dessert

I'm always looking forward
Cause it's never the same time again
It's never the same time again
It's never the same time again
No it's never the same time again


from What To Do When Your Fembot Loves Another Manbot, released February 3, 2013




The Muffin Recording Company Portland, Oregon

Styop Quoons is made entirely out of candy. You should not only listen to him, you should lick him like a lollipop.

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