Last Bus out of Canada

from by Styop Quoons

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When Pocahontas awoke, he was sitting in a cramped felt seat, in a vehicle which appeared to be moving. He wheeled his head around in confusion, searching for some kind of explanation.

"It's a bus." said Skip Brisbee, who Pocahontas now saw was sitting next to him. "The last bus out of Canada, or so I was told."

Pocahontas yawned and stretched.

"I've heard of such devices," he said, "But I never thought I would live to see one up close, much less ride in one. Where is it going?"

"Detroit." replied Skip.

"Why Detroit?" Pocahontas looked confused. "I'm trying to get to Hana."

"Like I said, it's the last bus out of Canada." said Skip. "I didn't really have much of a choice when it came to the destination. Besides, did you think that getting to Hana was going to be as easy as just hopping on a bus? Some mythical quest that would be."

Pocahontas considered this for a moment, and decided that it made sense.

"I never thanked you for rescuing me back there, from the spider I mean." he said. "My mother warned me that there might be dangerous people on the road to Hana, but I guess I didn't realize exactly how dangerous it would be."

"Think nothing of it." said Skip.

Pocahontas stretched and yawned again.

"You know," he said, rummaging around in his pack to see if he had any sandwiches left, "I don't believe that I have ever encountered a creature quite like Joozgapthe before."

Now it was Skip Brisbee's turn to yawn.

"Yeah," he said, "Nine hundred year old giant spiders that talk aren't exactly common in rural Canada."

"No," said Pocahontas, "I mean, yes, but also, his outlook on life was rather bleak, don't you think?"

"A bit, I suppose."

"His entire view seemed to be that the world is a cold, lonely place, and the only purpose of life is to survive, and serve tea, and eat people indiscriminately. My father apparently sent me on this quest so I could find the meaning of life, but somehow, Joozgapthe's views on the subject seem wrong to me."

"Well, he's been around 900 years longer than you have; maybe he knows something that you don't."

Pocahontas did not have an answer to that, and for the next several minutes they rode in silence.

"Skip?" he said after a time.


"What do you think life is all about?"

Skip considered for a moment.

"Well, a fella wiser than myself once said that life ain't nothing but bitches and money. However, if I remember correctly, he got AIDS and died."

"Oh." Pocahontas looked a little depressed.

"But he probably doesn't know everything," Skip said after a moment. "Here, you know what, just don't worry about it for the time being. We're on our way to Detroit now, so let's enjoy ourselves. Maybe I could sing a little song to pass the time."


from The Road to Hana: Act I: Life is Cheap, released February 11, 2010



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Styop Quoons is made entirely out of candy. You should not only listen to him, you should lick him like a lollipop.

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