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Have you ever wondered what the outcome would be if a well-known figure from Greek mythology suddenly decided, for no particular reason, to pick a fight with a flightless bird native to New Guinea as well as Northern Australia? Of course you have. As usual, I have the answer to this, as well as a variety of other burning questions. Stay tuned, folks.



Way down beneath the depths of knossos
hidden in the deep
the minotaur so very sorely
awakened from his sleep

he'd slumbered in the darkened labyrinth
for so very long
but now that he'd awakened
it was time to right some wrongs

he called to mind his enemies
went oe'r them in his head
but daedalus and icarus
and theseus were dead

so he traveled to Australia
and came up with a plan
to fight the lonely cassowary
in his native land

the cassowary said I'm just a flightless fuckin' bird
I don't know what your goddamn beef is with me
But the minotaur could not be calmed he kept on threatening bodily harm
he said I'll nail your punk ass to a tree

my enemies have long passed on
the minotaur did cry
but still I am so very angry
somebody must die

now I'll admit this fight I'm picking
doesn't make much sense
but even so you'd better put
your fists up for defense

the cassowary said hey buddy I don't want no trouble
I don't think I've ever even been to Greece
I think you've got some anger issues that you need to work on
but meanwhile I must insist we sue for peace

the minotaur, no longer sore,
decides to make amends
and from that day the two of them were friends.


from What To Do When Your Fembot Loves Another Manbot, released February 3, 2013




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