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lyrics

And so it was that Pocahontas and his imaginary friend Skip Brisbee journeyed from their homeland to the fabled city of Detroit, in the far off kingdom of Michigan. Along the way, they stopped at a convenience store, operated by a local cowboy. Pocahontas had never seen a convenience store before, and he marveled at the wonders it held.

"Moon pie!" he exclaimed, holding the aforementioned pastry aloft, "What a time to be alive."

After purchasing a moon pie, several twinkies, a diet cherry cola, some powdered sugar donuts in a bag, a couple of fruit pies, a hot dog, some nachos with jalapenos, a banana, several bags of jelly beans, two Snickers bars, an oversized novelty pair of sunglasses, a bag of potato chips, a carton of ice cream, and a box of plastic silverware, Pocahontas and Skip got back on the bus and continued their journey. As day faded into night, they crossed the border into the United States of America. It had not occurred to Pocahontas that he would need to get a passport in order to leave the country, but fortunately for them, Skip had thought ahead.

He presented the customs agent with two passports, issued by the NSK, which he had purchased the previous evening from a company in Nigeria. The customs agent looked bemused, and told them that the passports were invalid. Pocahontas began to fidget anxiously, and the customs agent took notice.

Skip and Pocahontas were detained for the next several hours, under the suspicion of being terrorists. The customs officials were particularly suspicious of Skip's tendency to always stand to the left of wherever they happened to be looking, as well as his Islamic jailhouse tattoo. However, after a thorough interrogation and a bribe, Skip and Pocahontas were allowed to once again board the bus, and continue their travels.

Pocahontas was visibly shaken by the experience, but Skip assured him that this sort of thing happened to him all the time, and that there was nothing to worry about.

As the bus drove on through the lush meadows of the northeastern United States, Pocahontas gradually slipped off into sleep, and when he awoke it was dawn, and they had drawn to a stop amongst a skyline of warehouses and other industrial buildings.

And so it was that, on the morning of the fifth day since his departure, Pocahontas arrived in the city of Detroit.

credits

from The Road to Hana: Act I: Life is Cheap, released February 11, 2010

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Styop Quoons is made entirely out of candy. You should not only listen to him, you should lick him like a lollipop.

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