What To Do When Your Fembot Loves Another Manbot

by Styop Quoons

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Don Knotts believes that there are too many ostriches. I, for one, believe that there are not enough.


released February 3, 2013





The Muffin Recording Company Portland, Oregon

Styop Quoons is made entirely out of candy. You should not only listen to him, you should lick him like a lollipop.

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Track Name: A Brown Dawn Breaks
blackened boiling crimson skies
did bubble through the night
and babblings of the march-hare rang
in places without light

and deep below the city streets
the Catechist did prowl
the gnashings of its razor teeth
precedent to its howl

the cries of bats and sewer rats
would echo in the walls
as Pedro fled the Catechist
through long abandoned halls

the rusty clank of razors faded
when the dawn was nigh
revealing in the light of day
a brown and dismal sky
Track Name: Never The Same Time Again
Well I've never been an uncle
And I've never been to Kansas
And I've never had a muskrat
Eat my face

I've never been to Portsmouth
And I've never been to Dover
And I've never met a lady
Who could breathe in outer space

But sometimes I sit and ponder
All the things I think about
And I often get excited
When I finally work it out

Each day is an adventure
Cause its never the same time again

I realize I'll never be so tall
That I could reach up and grab a plane
But even though that's true you know I don't let it get me down
Cause if I was that tall I couldn't ever go inside again

Well I've never danced the Charleston
And I've never met Ben Kingsley
And I've never seen Al Jolson
Do blackface

I've never been attacked by pigs
Or forced to dance a bonny jig
While being held at gunpoint
By creatures from outer space

But I'm told I have a lot of pep
By folks who ought to know
And I'm often complimented
On my graceful do-se-do

I'll always sally forth because
It's never the same time again

I know that I'm probably a fool
For wishing that I had a million cars
After all, where would I park them all?
The garage I have is way too small I'd have to move to Mars

Sometimes I wonder if it's wrong
To misdirect the sailors out at sea
I know I'm not a navigator
But they probably should have checked on that before listening to me

Well I've never been a mailman
And I've seen a dentist
And I've never worn a sweater
of Argyle

I've never seen a porcupine
Or sipped on dandelion wine
Or fed my landlord
To a crocodile

But I always keep some brine shrimp
In the pocket of my shirt
And I always share my recipes
For gelatin dessert

I'm always looking forward
Cause it's never the same time again
It's never the same time again
It's never the same time again
No it's never the same time again
Track Name: A Problem of Remembering

I got a problem remembering
Why there's blood on my brand new shirt
I lost a little bit of time there baby and
Now my knuckles hurt

I think you said something bout my shirt
And your words were less than kind
I think you said it was ugly or something
And then I just lost track of time
Track Name: Obsolete is the New New

There's a lady who's sure all that glitters is gold
And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
When she gets there she knows, if the stores are all closed
With a word she can get what she came for.
Ooh, ooh, and she's buying a stairway to heaven.

There's a sign on the wall but she wants to be sure
'Cause you know sometimes words have two meanings.
In a tree by the brook, there's a songbird who sings,
Sometimes all of our thoughts are misgiven.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it makes me wonder.

There's a feeling I get when I look to the west,
And my spirit is crying for leaving.
In my thoughts I have seen rings of smoke through the trees,
And the voices of those who stand looking.

Ooh, it makes me wonder,
Ooh, it really makes me wonder.

And it's whispered that soon, if we all call the tune,
Then the piper will lead us to reason.
And a new day will dawn for those who stand long,
And the forests will echo with laughter.

If there's a bustle in your hedgerow, don't be alarmed now,
It's just a spring clean for the May queen.
Yes, there are two paths you can go by, but in the long run
There's still time to change the road you're on.
And it makes me wonder.

Your head is humming and it won't go, in case you don't know,
The piper's calling you to join him,
Dear lady, can you hear the wind blow, and did you know
Your stairway lies on the whispering wind?

And as we wind on down the road
Our shadows taller than our soul.
There walks a lady we all know
Who shines white light and wants to show
How everything still turns to gold.
And if you listen very hard
The tune will come to you at last.
When all are one and one is all
To be a rock and not to roll.

And she's buying a stairway to heaven.
Track Name: Cassowary Vs. Minotaur

Way down beneath the depths of knossos
hidden in the deep
the minotaur so very sorely
awakened from his sleep

he'd slumbered in the darkened labyrinth
for so very long
but now that he'd awakened
it was time to right some wrongs

he called to mind his enemies
went oe'r them in his head
but daedalus and icarus
and theseus were dead

so he traveled to Australia
and came up with a plan
to fight the lonely cassowary
in his native land

the cassowary said I'm just a flightless fuckin' bird
I don't know what your goddamn beef is with me
But the minotaur could not be calmed he kept on threatening bodily harm
he said I'll nail your punk ass to a tree

my enemies have long passed on
the minotaur did cry
but still I am so very angry
somebody must die

now I'll admit this fight I'm picking
doesn't make much sense
but even so you'd better put
your fists up for defense

the cassowary said hey buddy I don't want no trouble
I don't think I've ever even been to Greece
I think you've got some anger issues that you need to work on
but meanwhile I must insist we sue for peace

the minotaur, no longer sore,
decides to make amends
and from that day the two of them were friends.
Track Name: Get Thee Behind Me, Stan

We are lost and wandering in the park
Long ago the light has changed to dark
In the sky the stars appear
Stan and I still trapped in here
Get behind me Stan, you've gone too far